IWA Deep South brought death match wrestling to the heart of Dixie in full effect last night in Cullman, Alabama, as Necro Butcher emerged from a jaw-dropping, mind-numbing five hour spectacle of extreme violence and sheer lunacy as the winner of the 2006 Carnage Cup.
It was a Thanksgiving blood feast. Every guy in the tournament bled in every single match, almost all of them hardway, most of them multiple times from multiple body parts, and many of them like stuck pigs.
They must have gone through 500 light tubes easy. They busted close to 200 in the finals alone. After each match, the broken and crushed tubes were swept out of the ring, along with all the other mess, and then swept under the ring.
It was my first death match tournament. Prior to the show, I predicted it would also be my last. As I write this, I’m not quite so sure, as badly sickened as my mind has become after the events of last night. But I digress. Point being, I have no basis for comparison. A rabid fan of this genre told me it was better than the 2006 IWA Mid-South KOTDM tournament.
The crowd was integral in making this show. The Highway 69 Sports Arena is not a big place, so even with a crowd of only 100 it felt pretty full, and these people were into it. Almost without exception, they were appreciative and respectful of the performers. There were some local fans, but many of these folks came from a considerable distance.
Last October, the first attempt to do this tournament came to naught when a call by a fan prompted the cops in Childersburg to close the show down. The tournament was reconvened in Elkmont, Alabama with Tank becoming the winner of the inaugural event of the Carnage Cup.
Ring announcer Karl Kastle introduced the 13 participants. This crowd was amped. The members of the IWA Mid-South contingent were way over, but the local guys had their supporters as well.
(1) Insane Lane beat “Mr. Violence” Rick Hayes in a Razor Wire Match (9:03) to advance to the second round. Booker Mike Burns was worried about this one, and for good reason. One wrong move and I don’t even want to think about it. Hayes gigged Lane with wire and pounded the cut open. Lane bled profusely. Hayes placed a cluster of light tubes on the turnbuckle and smashed Lane’s forehead into them for first “holy shit” chant of the night. Lane busted Hayes over the head with some tubes and the crowd chanted for Lane to f*** him up. Hayes stomped a barbed wired board into Lane. Lane gigged Hayes with the wire. Somebody called it a case of Hepatitis waiting to happen. Little did we know. Lane powerbombed Hayes onto the razor wire board for the win. They had a helluva time extracting Hayes from the wire. The crowd showed their appreciation with a chant of “Rick f****** Hayes.”
(2) Necro Butcher defeated Mean Mitch Page in an Unlucky 13 match to advance to the second round. The object was to bust 13 light tubes on the body of your unlucky opponent. Not the slightest pretense of wrestling. There’s only so many ways to bust a light tube. And with some of the tube shots misfiring, this wasn’t one of highlights of the opening round. Page headbutted Necro with a tube to go up 3-1. Necro came back to jump out to a 7-3 lead. The highlight was Page punting a light tube into Necro’s groin to pull within 7-5. Necro poured it on to win 13-5, punching the last three tubes into Page’s head.
(3) Dysfunction beat Freakshow in a Home Wrecker Match in 9:39 to advance to the second round. The massive Freakshow made a name for himself as a death match performer on this show. He hung with the best. At 23, Dysfunction is a death match veteran, having appeared in the last five IWA Mid-South KOTDM tourneys. Dys hails from Milwaukee, too young to have seen the Crusher perform, but channeling the same energy. It was the strongest heel charisma of the opening round. An array of household item were placed in the ring. Dys stomped a tray full of plastic forks into the Freak’s head. Dys crowned Freak with a trash can. He couldn’t get the can to stay on Freak’s head, so he asked a fan to hold it in place for him. Freakshow dug a shard of tube glass into Dysfunction’s head. A vicious shot with the VCR got another “holy s***” chant. Dys was gushing. Dys exploded with the best traditional pro wrestling offense of the night, finishing with a running SSP for a near fall. Freak a gave Dys a sideslam through a light tube-loaded table bridged across two chairs. Dys kicked out. Freak gave Dys a piledriver through a light tube table. Dys kicked out again. Freakshow took a back bump off the ropes through a light tube barbed-wire door. Dys superkicked Show into the wreckage for the 1-2-3. Best match so far.
(4) Ian Rotten defeated Mickie Knuckles in a Barefoot Thumbtacks Match in 14:15 to advance to the second round. You might be thinking that was too long for that type of match. Think again. Rotten is the master of psychology when it comes to this s***. He’s able to build a match by mixing in wrestling and believable struggles, qualities that a lot of hardcore stuff lacks. Knuckles came to the ring in house slippers. Knuckles has a unique babyface charisma. Having defeated Iron Saints the night before in Midlothian, Rotten and Knuckles came into the match as the current IWA Deep South tag team champions. A tray filled with thumbtack was placed center ring. Needless to say, they beat each other senseless. There was a barbed wire bat and barbed wire in the corners. Rotten and Knuckles moved it to the side so they could wrestle. They each jabbed the other’s foot into the tacks, so both were walking gingerly. Ian used barbed wire to draw first blood. A staple gun came into play and the results made for excruciating viewing. Knuckles stapled Rotten’s foot for a near fall. Rotten stapled Knuckles on the ass and chest. Knuckles’ facial expression when her tit got stapled was gold. Some wicked turnabout saw Knuckles staple Rotten in the nuts. Knuckles stapled a dollar bill to Rotten’s tongue. Ian used the barbed wire bat to put a crown of tacks into Knuckles’ head. Rotten stapled Knuckles between the legs. Knuckles yanked the dollar bill off of Rotten’s tongue. Knuckles suplexed Rotten into the bed of tacks. Knuckles hit a shining wizard for a near fall. Ian blasted Knuckles with a stiff savate kick on the outside. Back inside, Rotten dropped Mickie’s feet into the tacks and hit a high angle back suplex to score the pinfall.
Rotten congratulated Knuckles on being the first woman in the world to compete in a barefoot thumbtacks match. Rotten said that if was going to beat the s*** out of somebody he loved, there was no better place than Alabama. Rotten said Knuckles was better than “any dick sucking whore Diva in WWE.” Rotten put over Knuckles involvement in the MTV Wrestle Society X show. Rotten whipped up the crowd with a pep talk. He said the South was gonna rise again when Knuckles beat those bitches’ asses at the next taping.
(5) Drake Younger beat “Diehard” Dustin Lee in an Ultraviolent Ladders and Tables match to advance to the second round (8:18). A tough name to live up to, but they managed to pull it off. These two broke in together. Diehard brutalized Younger with a northern lights onto a ladder and followed up with an amazing reverse piledriver into a stack of light tubes. Lee tore up Younger’s back by dragging him through the shards of glass. Younger came back with a Razor’s Edge into a mini-table loaded with tubes and barbed wire. Diehard put Younger through a table with a huracanrana. “Diehard with a vengeance,” said Andy. Diehard did a top rope double stomp off a ladder with Younger laid out on another bridged ladder. No give on that baby. I was expecting some puked up innards. Younger put Diehard through a table with a DVD off a six foot ladder for the pinfall. Younger lead the crowd in chanting Diehard’s name and they hugged it out.
(6) Bull Pain beat Corporal Robinson in a Light Tube Ropes match to advance to the second round (8:29). Tubes were taped all along the top rope. This was mild compared to what had gone before. Robinson bled from the hideous mass of scar tissue he calls a forehead. Pain made good use of a barbed wire bat. At one point, he rammed the bat up Robinson’s ass. Robinson hit the Boot Camp and carved on Pain with the jagged edge of a broken tube. The crowd popped for a Pain superplex. Pain hit a reverse DDT onto the barbed wire bat for the three count.
Kastle announced that Dysfunction had severed an artery in his thumb and had been taken to a nearby hospital (where he received 6 stitches). Therefore, the final two contestants in the Loser’s Rumble would advance to the next round.
Intermission. Dysfunction/Freakshow, Rotten/Knuckles and Younger/Diehard were all pretty awesome. But the night was still young.
(7) Dave the Rave & Hugh Rogue beat Don Juan & Chuey Martinez in 8:28. A waste of of time. This was the last place I expected Juan to show up. I’m guessing Martinez is Juan’s trainee. Rave was in almost all the way for the babyface side. I say babyface, but it’s not like anybody cared all that much one way or another. Rogue got the hot tag and pinned Martinez with a package piledriver.
(8) Cabana Man Dan beat Chrisjen Hayme in 6:02. They worked a fast-paced cruiserweight style. Definitely quantity over quality, but most of it looked good, and fans enjoyed it as a change of pace. Dan is billed as being from the Phillipines and he’s really over with the locals. Dan’s trademark spot is whacking his opponent full force with his flip flop. Hayme blocked the Surf’s Up and knocked Dan off the apron with an enzuigiri. Hayme went for broke on an Asai moonsault. He nailed it and the crowd was really into the match the rest of the way. A wicked exchange of headbutts as they battled on the outside. Hayme crashed and burned on a skytwister press. Dan won it with a Surf’s Up off the top.
Just for kicks, a strand of barbed wire was intertwined with the ropes on one side of the ring for the duration of the tournament.
(9) Corporal Robinson and Freakshow advanced in the Second Chance Losers’ Rumble (8:13). Much better than expected. Rather than the typical rumble style, this was an elimination match worked one-on-one with tags.Robinson took a seat at ringside for the start of the match. Freakshow got hung up in the strand of barbed wire a few times. Freakshow snuffed out Hayes with full nelson slam at 3:25. Diehard and Knuckles nailed Freakshow with a perfectly timed stereo basement dropkick. Fans responded with an “IWA” chant. Diehard tapped to Knuckles’ bridging double underhook Indian Deathlock at 4:54 and is that ever a cool submission. Page crushed Knuckles with a Vader Bomb style elbow at 6:19. Robinson and Page started doubling up on Freakshow. But Robinson surprised Page with a Boot Camp for the three count. Robinson and Freakshow advance.
(10) Drake Younger defeated Ian Rotten in a Light Tube Log Cabin match to advance to the finals (13:47). It was two out of three cabins. Each cabin consisted of 22 light tubes. Early in the match, Younger’s gum fell onto the mat and he put it right back in his mouth without missing a beat. Even Rotten was disgusted, and you know that’s not an easy thing to do. Rotten tried to choke Younger out. Rotten busted Younger open with the strand of wire and shredded up his back. Rotten beat on Younger with sick crossface forearms. Younger used the wire to get the blood flowing on Rotten again. Rotten powerbomed Younger through a log cabin to win fall number one. Rotten used the remnants of the log cabin to inflict further damage. Younger’s back, chest and face were covered in blood. Younger put Rotten through a cabin with a DVD to win fall number two. Younger did a senton backsplash on Rotten into the mangled mess of tubes. Rotten went for the win with a high angle back suplex, but Young countered with a northern lights into cabin number three. Rotten congratulated Younger. Fans chanted “Ian” and “IWA.”
(11) Necro Butcher beat Freakshow in a Taipei Death match to advance to the finals (8:18). It got my vote for the sickest match on the show, and let me tell you, there was lot to choose from. Taipei rules involve crushed plate glass being glued to taped fists. Lots of glass. Necro tried to get fans to shake his hands, but there were no takers. A bucket of tacks was placed center ring. Freakshow bloodied up Necro first, but Necro proved to be a fare more effective puncher. Necro was literally pounding Freakshow in the face to where the glass was spraying on impact and blood was gushing down his face, a truly legendary beating. Twice, Necro decked Freakshow with haymakers. Each time, Freakshow struggled up at the count of nine. Necro hit a top rope forearm smash for a near fall. Necro took the Flair bump off the top for one near fall. Freakshow splashed him for another. Not to be denied, Necro dumped over the bucket and executed a rolling reverse cradle into the broken glass for the 1-2-3. Fans chanted for Freakshow.
(12) Corporal Robinson beat Tank in Carnage Corners match via submission to advance to the finals (7:35). As defending champion, Tank was way over with the crowd. As defending champion, he got a bye in the first round, and it turned out to be a relatively light night for him. There were tube tables with carpet tacks in two corners and 6 tubes shaped in a double X in the other two corners. Tank used headbutts to open Robinson up again. Robinson whipped Tank into the corner and a double X of tubes destroyed Tank’s back. Tank used a strip with carpet tacks on Robinson. Robinson hit the Boot Camp for a near fall. They traded ridiculously stiff shots that didn’t seem to phase Tank a whole lot. Robinson submitted Tank with a grounded Boot Camp (cobra clutch with leg grapevine).
(13) Insane Lane beat Bull Pain in a Home Run Derby match to advance to the finals (8:10). This match was a peak moment in perverse entertainment. Maybe the best heat of the night. Lane paid an ungodly price for his ticket to the finals. Bull Pain is an awesome bad ass heel. Tack bats and a barbed wire bats were placed in the ring. Pain came out swinging for the fences. A full swing with the tack bat instantly transformed Lane into a human pin cushion. There were no less than 25 tacks implanted in his head. Pain put another 15-20 tacks into Lane’s back with the tack bat. Pain got the “holy shit” chant with a thudding DDT on the concrete floor. Pain got into bigtime with a ringside granny. Pain whipped Lane into the bleachers right alongside her. Lane konked Pain with a five gallon water jug on a pole. A light tube spot misfired. Pain improvised by legdropping the tube bat onto Lane for a near fall. It turned out better than the original idea. Lane reversed a whip and caught Pain with a small package. No handshakes or hugs from the likes of Pain. Fan booed his ass unmercifully.
(14) Necro Butcher beat Drake Younger and Corporal Robinson and Insane Lane in four-way elimination 200 Light Tubes match to win the 2006 IWA Deep South Carnage Cup at 19:20. Lane was over as the guy willing to take the most insane punishment to make up for his lack of wrestling skill. Light tubes were attached to the ropes like a picket fence, and they used up almost the entire supply. There was a steady stream of tubes exploding and flying into the crowd throughout the match, but at this point, people were pretty well conditioned to it, and nobody seemed to mind. You could hear the crunching of the glass shards under the wrestler’s feet, and the ring was getting like an ice skating rink. Necro abused Younger, whipping him into and slamming him onto the light tubes. Robinson used a jagged edge of tube glass on Lane. For his part, Robinson was wearing a mask of coagulated blood. Necro moved and Younger did a front flip onto a pile of tubes. Younger’s chest was destroyed. Necro slammed Lane onto a chair on the floor. Necro pulled up four chairs and told everyone to have a seat. They did a round robin slugfest that segued into dueling headbutts. Younger and Lane brought Necro out of the ring with double vertical suplex to the concrete floor. A freaking suicidal bump. Necro’s elbow swelled up like a balloon. Robinson dropped Lane on his head with a high angle back suplex onto a pile of light tubes for a near fall. Robinson superkicked the crap out of Lane, but he kicked out of that, too. Lane came back to eliminate Younger with an exploding light tube dragon suplex at 15:18. Necro eliminated Robinson with a tiger driver into light tubes at 16:42. Necro and Lane slapped the s*** out of each other. Necro kicked out of Lane’s tiger suplex. Lane was setting up for a half nelson suplex into the tubes, but Necro countered with a decapitation lariat. Necro set up two chairs, back-to-back, and drove Lane into the edges with a sidewalk slam to become the Carnage Cup champ. Necro was presented with the Carnage Cup. He said he wished it was full of beer. The show closed with the crowd chanting thank you to promoter Kevin Brennan.